Weird Japan. Where humans and Telenoids embrace. Where everyone pilots giant robot power suits to work. Where crazy toilet situations, extreme cosplay, and adult men taking their pillow “girlfriends” out on the town are par for everyone’s course. Or are they? One thing I love about this country is the great variety on the menu.
Recently a bunch of weird pictures found on the internet, allegedly from Japan, were posted on an English-language website, which claimed that the wackiest pics always come from Japan. We have the bizarre images below, along with some genuine Japanese reactions!
▼Take a guess. What would you say is the purpose of the silicon “training” device below?
You guessed it! Open wide, ladies. By inserting the silicon rubber mouthpiece and exercising by forming vowel sounds for just three minutes a day, you too can achieve your dream face—a small, tight and toned face without wrinkles or sags. This is known as the “Face Slimmer”. See? It all makes sense now. Why, what did you think this was for?
▼This guy is just your average friendly neighborhood cyclist. Who likes to wear an upside-down wedding cake of dolls on his head.
▼Check out this double date.
Double take?? Two doll fanciers and their doll girlfriends, out on a romantic picnic. And I thought my relationship was complicated.
▼Watch out, anyone in short skirts riding escalators. You have been warned!
Your crotch may be immortalized by some random with a clam shell phone. Masters of the art of panchira tosatsu (filming someone’s panties without their knowledge or consent) proliferate on subway escalators, as seen in cinematic masterpiece Love Exposure (Ai no mukidashi), one of the best transvestite ninja Christian hentai films ever made. There’s even a new generation of stealth apps for non-consensual upskirt voyeurs.
▼My, my, what a big sword you have.
Don’t play too much Final Fantasy VII, kids; this will happen to you.
▼Ah, the famous noodles of Japan.
On the left, we have “Moonwalk Udon”, the tasty thick noodles Michael Jackson would have wanted us to eat, and on the right we have “Obama Udon”, a new menu item for those who prefer change. It’s a tough choice.
▼Dolling the place up a little.
▼More lifestyle than hobby, she blue it out of proportion.
▼”The unknown cheerleaders’ challenge!”
The moving, miraculous story of these cheerleaders who followed their dreams and rose as a team from their obscurity was apparently broadcast on Nippon Television.
▼These soft toys can’t stand or walk unassisted and need the priority seats. This lovely young woman travels with them as their carer.
▼Man versus pillow. A cuddly match made in heaven.
“I’ll have four beef bowls, and my girlfriend will have the curry rice, a box of juice, and a toy, please.”
▼Tactile robot avatars… it doesn’t get much better than this.
The Telenoid R2 is a android with a “soft and pleasant” body feel, designed to be teleoperated to transfer peoples’ “physical presence”. This could be the eye-opening future of getting jiggy with your long-distance partner. Don’t worry, he’s already wearing a rubber.
▼Train users shouldn’t expect their needs to be pandered to.
▼Real Marios rev it up.
▼Time for a toilet talk. This will teach him to leave the seat up.
▼Or maybe she wants to talk about this…
▼At the FIFA World Cup… JPN 1, CMR 0.
▼We are the future. Resistance is useless.
▼Bionic… legs. More than meets the eye.
▼Un-bull-leave-a-bull.
▼Attack of the militant grasshoppers.
▼Don’t want to give you a big head, but you’re so cute you stop traffic…
▼Fashion forward.
▼Isn’t she a bit old for toilet training?
Japanese netizens berated the pics above as full of misconceptions and not portraying a balanced picture of Japan. Yep, these look pretty unbalanced to us, too.
One netizen said that most of the scenes above were actually from China, and they had never seen anything like it, while others replied that they were fairly accurate representations of their homeland, and about half these things you’d “ordinarily come across”. One person had apparently even seen the old man from the second picture in person, with fish bowls hanging from his ears, leading us to believe that this isn’t quite the online conspiracy that many would prefer to believe.
I have to agree with one comment though: it’s a “free country”! Keep the craziness coming, it’s the spice of life. Even if not all of these are from Japan, other countries need to raise their game.